Fatherhood Remixed

Graduation…

I have attended so many graduations, but I’ve only participated in two. It’s such an odd milestone. It caps what is usually a long journey and celebrates the beautiful unknow of the future. Up until this point there has been a schedule, a set goal, and challenges, seen or unseen. But the future, the next steps in front of each graduate may not be so clear. As I write this I think to high school graduation. That’s the ceremony most people will be a part of all. Not all, but most. Depending on your school, you’ll sit there for hours waiting for 15 seconds of glory. A fleeting moment where your name will be called out and hopefully pronounced correctly for your family and friends to scream in support. Then it’s over. The next name is called and the next group of supporters will cry out for the next kid. Then what?

This past June, my youngest daughter graduated from high school. As I was looking through past blogs that just seems so wild to me. She was just a baby not too long ago. Not only did it mark a new chapter in her life but it marked a new chapter in my life. Soon all of my kids would be out of the house and in college. I have four kids and to have all of them in college seems like I’ve won the lottery. I never pushed college on any of them. It was hard to do so since I had never finished college myself. So as they have slowly transitioned into this new phase of life, it’s caused me to reflect on my own journey.

Hard lessons to learn…

Posted on February 27, 2023 by Workshop Joe

Of all the things we can invest in life, people are perhaps the most valuable. The community that we surround ourselves with can provide us with support, love, and a sense of belonging. But what happens when that investment is met with betrayal and hurt?

There was a community of people that I invested my whole life into. I don’t always do it right, but I was committed to them. I gave of my time, my tears, and my heart. These people were supposed to do life alongside me. We had meetings to discuss how to raise our kids together, strengthen our marriages, and build a future. I made plenty of mistakes along the way. I was rude, I hurt people’s feelings, and I wasn’t always the most likable guy. But despite my flaws, I was always there for them when they needed me.

My whole world changed.

Posted on June 8, 2022 by Workshop Joe

hiroshima

(This was originally written in June of 2017)

On August 6, 1945, the world was forever changed. We had entered the nuclear age and there was no way to ever go back. Days leading up to the bombing of Hiroshima President Truman called Japan, warning to “expect a rain of ruin from the air, the like of which has never been seen on this earth.” The bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were the only times in human history that the destructive power of nuclear weapons has been unleashed and it changed the world forever.

As you look at American history you can see the ripple effects of entering the nuclear age. Bomb shelters, duck and cover drills, and the cold war were grim reminders that there was now a fear that hung silently in the air over us. As time wore on that fear dissipated. Those that remember that day from a first-hand account are few and far between. The memories of those who lived in fear of retaliation are beginning to fade. I suppose time can help you forget but I don’t know if can ever actually heal your wounds.

My world was rocked this week by events that may haunt my mind for weeks, months, and maybe even years to come. Things that can’t be undone, the clock can’t be turned back and I now live in my own nuclear age. Initially, I was just numb with shock. I could feel nothing and was more in disbelief than anything else. As the reality of what had happened began to wash over me I just wanted to run. That slowly turned into agony which led to rage. I sat with my thoughts and tried to make sense of this new world. I tried to comprehend how to navigate through it. The only thing I knew for sure was that life would never be the same.

Go Fish.

Posted on April 9, 2018 by Workshop Joe

We go fishing every now and then. My father in law has a small boat and we’ve gone out on the ocean over the years and always had fun. We usually bring home dinner as well. I’m not an expert but I know what it feels like to reel in a big one. I’ve caught some pretty big fish and yes, I do have photos to prove it.

So it’s no surprise that I own a small tackle box and a few fishing poles although I’m not exactly sure where they all came from. I have to admit that I had never really used them. Well, I might have used the tackle box but I wasn’t even sure where it was when my wife asked me if I had one. Anyway, after a quick once over my father in law stated our gear was serviceable to catch fish so I thought. LET’S GO FISHING!

I told my son we could go out on the pier at night and see what we could find. He was so excited. We gathered our gear and loaded up the car. We were going to head out to Port San Luis and see what we could catch. It’s a cool place and I was stoked we get some alone time with him. He has three sisters so it’s important we get man time every now and then.

We stopped on the way for coffee and hot chocolate. While I was there I checked for bait but there was none to be found. No worries, I had some lures and they might work so on we went. As we got closer to the pier my son asked how we were going to get the fish home. I let him know I brought a small cooler but in my own head I was doubting we’d need it.

Take time to listen.

Posted on April 2, 2018 by Workshop Joe

My oldest daughter is almost 14. Just reading those words after typing them blows my mind. It seems like she was just a baby yesterday. I was always told that time flies and they’ll be grown up before you know it and sure enough, they were right. She’ll be a freshman next year and we are finishing up on a lot of life lessons. She’ll need to spread her wings soon and I want to do my best to make sure she is ready to soar.

A few weeks ago she and I had to go out of town for a soccer tournament. This was her first time playing at the club level and I was excited for her. I remember the first time I played on a club team. I remember the nerves and the worry and how the fast the game became. I wanted to go over all of that with her but I didn’t want to add any anxiety that she may already have. We had a 4 hour drive ahead of us and I decided it would be best to just ask questions and listen. So that’s what I did.