Hard lessons to learn…

Of all the things we can invest in life, people are perhaps the most valuable. The community that we surround ourselves with can provide us with support, love, and a sense of belonging. But what happens when that investment is met with betrayal and hurt?

There was a community of people that I invested my whole life into. I don’t always do it right, but I was committed to them. I gave of my time, my tears, and my heart. These people were supposed to do life alongside me. We had meetings to discuss how to raise our kids together, strengthen our marriages, and build a future. I made plenty of mistakes along the way. I was rude, I hurt people’s feelings, and I wasn’t always the most likable guy. But despite my flaws, I was always there for them when they needed me.

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My whole world changed.

hiroshima

(This was originally written in June of 2017)

On August 6, 1945, the world was forever changed.  We had entered the nuclear age and there was no way to ever go back.  Days leading up to the bombing of Hiroshima President Truman called Japan, warning to “expect a rain of ruin from the air, the like of which has never been seen on this earth.”  The bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were the only times in human history that the destructive power of nuclear weapons has been unleashed and it changed the world forever.

As you look at American history you can see the ripple effects of entering the nuclear age.  Bomb shelters, duck and cover drills, and the cold war were grim reminders that there was now a fear that hung silently in the air over us. As time wore on that fear dissipated.  Those that remember that day from a first-hand account are few and far between.  The memories of those who lived in fear of retaliation are beginning to fade.  I suppose time can help you forget but I don’t know if can ever actually heal your wounds.

My world was rocked this week by events that may haunt my mind for weeks, months, and maybe even years to come. Things that can’t be undone, the clock can’t be turned back and I now live in my own nuclear age. Initially, I was just numb with shock. I could feel nothing and was more in disbelief than anything else.  As the reality of what had happened began to wash over me I just wanted to run.  That slowly turned into agony which led to rage.  I sat with my thoughts and tried to make sense of this new world.  I tried to comprehend how to navigate through it.  The only thing I knew for sure was that life would never be the same.

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Go Fish.

We go fishing every now and then.  My father in law has a small boat and we’ve gone out on the ocean over the years and always had fun.  We usually bring home dinner as well.  I’m not an expert but I know what it feels like to reel in a big one.  I’ve caught some pretty big fish and yes, I do have photos to prove it.

So it’s no surprise that I own a small tackle box and a few fishing poles although I’m not exactly sure where they all came from.  I have to admit that I had never really used them.  Well, I might have used the tackle box but I wasn’t even sure where it was when my wife asked me if I had one.  Anyway, after a quick once over my father in law stated our gear was serviceable to catch fish so I thought.  LET’S GO FISHING!

I told my son we could go out on the pier at night and see what we could find.  He was so excited.  We gathered our gear and loaded up the car.  We were going to head out to Port San Luis and see what we could catch.  It’s a cool place and I was stoked we get some alone time with him.  He has three sisters so it’s important we get man time every now and then.

We stopped on the way for coffee and hot chocolate.  While I was there I checked for bait but there was none to be found.  No worries, I had some lures and they might work so on we went. As we got closer to the pier my son asked how we were going to get the fish home.  I let him know I brought a small cooler but in my own head I was doubting we’d need it.

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Take time to listen.

My oldest daughter is almost 14.  Just reading those words after typing them blows my mind.  It seems like she was just a baby yesterday.  I was always told that time flies and they’ll be grown up before you know it and sure enough, they were right.  She’ll be a freshman next year and we are finishing up on a lot of life lessons.  She’ll need to spread her wings soon and I want to do my best to make sure she is ready to soar.

A few weeks ago she and I had to go out of town for a soccer tournament.  This was her first time playing at the club level and I was excited for her.  I remember the first time I played on a club team.  I remember the nerves and the worry and how the fast the game became.  I wanted to go over all of that with her but I didn’t want to add any anxiety that she may already have.  We had a 4 hour drive ahead of us and I decided it would be best to just ask questions and listen.  So that’s what I did.

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It’s all about fatherhood.

Hello.  We may have already met.  Well, what I mean is that you may have already read one of my blogs.  If you haven’t there’s no need to worry.  This a a great time to get started.  I’ve finally decided what I want to write about.  This blog started out as a class project a few years back and I thought I would keep it around as a creative outlet.  Over the years I’ve had a few sporadic posts usually prompted by my own musings but have never had any real direction.  I believe to a certain extent that is why I have floundered so much.

So, without further ado, I’ve decided to write about fatherhood.  It’s one of my greatest responsibilities and something that I dearly love.  I also know that there are tons of other men out there that want to be the best dad’s they can and a useful tip every now and then can go a long way.  Now, I’m not saying I’m the best dad ever but I had one of the greatest examples ever growing up as well as a great group of guys that I am constantly learning from.  Above all else I have my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, as the ultimate example and I want to share my experiences and insights with you in hopes that you can also be the best dad you can be.

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